


Right back to you

by slugmutt



Category: Harper Connelly Series - Charlaine Harris
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Smut, different chapters with individual warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-11-27 14:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20950043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slugmutt/pseuds/slugmutt
Summary: Chapter 1: Tolliver wonders just how much Harper has already figured out.Chapter 2: Harper is honest with some curious bikers. Tolliver is not amused.Chapter 3: Tolliver is sneaking out at night, and Harper's pretty sure she knows why.





	1. after Memphis (Tolliver POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tolliver tries not to panic after Memphis. Some cursing.

Harper is the best thing in my life, no doubt about it. And yet, nearly all of the worst moments in my life have involved her.

There’s an irony to that that’s almost amusing.

There was the moment I found her dead, of course. At least I thought she was dead. After a minute of CPR, she came back.

That was the longest minute of my life.

Then there was the time after Cameron disappeared, when the social worker told me that Harper’d been taken into care and refused to tell me where she was. As if I was a threat, instead of the one person on earth who would die to protect her.

The social worker didn’t say so, but I could tell that she suspected me of some truly disgusting shit. She stood there with her lip curled, and her _“we’ll see what the judge has to say about it”_, and all I could think of was Mama curled up on her hospital bed, trying to smile; Cameron’s face on the news; Mariella and Gracie screaming as they were strapped into Iona’s car.

If it weren’t for the fact that Harper called me herself a minute later and told me she was alright, I might have gone to jail for assault. Hell, I might have torched the whole fucking office.

And then, there are all the times that someone has thrown a punch at her, or a stone, because of what she can do. Every time it happens, it feels like my heart stops.

Harper thinks I worry too much about her safety. She doesn’t know the half of it. I’d kill the fuckers who hurt her, if I could. I’d kill them for even thinking about it.

Anyway. All that has been plenty bad.

But sometimes I think my current situation is the worst of all. Because this time, Harper is going to leave for real. And this time, it will be her choice.

And it will be all my fault.

Most of the time, I can almost pretend that everything is fine. And then she looks away a little too suddenly. Or she goes real quiet. Or she goes to hug me, then goes all stiff, as if she thought better of it halfway. That last one’s the worst.

I know there’s something she’s not telling me. I’m not stupid.

I think I know what it is, too. Because she’s not stupid either. I hate every man who so much as looks at her, I’d drop any woman I’ve ever been with to be by her side, and, oh yeah, most people we meet see the way I act with her and assume we’re lovers. She was always going to figure it out.

I’ve told myself that a hundred times. _This was never going to last_.

Don’t make it any easier.

Lately I wonder more and more what I’ll do when she leaves. It’s only a matter of time.

I’ll have to get a job, I suppose. That part doesn’t worry me none. I won’t have a real impressive resume, but I work hard and show up on time. As long as I don’t let my temper get the best of me, I’ll be fine.

It’s what happens after work that worries me. All those hours that people spend not eating, sleeping, or working. What am I supposed to do then?

I know what I will do, no matter how hard I try not to. I’ll think about her, and I’ll miss her like crazy.

And I’ll worry. Worry that she’s working too hard, that she’s forgetting to eat. That people are cheating her, and that there’s nothing she can do about it, because she’s whip-smart and she’s a fighter, but she’s not strong. Not physically.

I’ll worry that somewhere, someone is hurting her, and there’s nobody there to protect her. That someday she’s just going to be gone. Like Cameron. Like Mama. Like everyone else I’ve met who’s worth a damn.

Nothing I can do about it now, I suppose. All I can do is to keep watching out for her, keep finding her jobs and dealing with the money and making sure she eats a damn sandwich once in a while. All I can do is keep her safe, just for today.

Maybe she’ll find someone else to do all those things for her, after she leaves. A man who wants to be her protector, who sees how amazing she is. A man who would give anything to put a smile on her face.

I hope she does meet that man. I hate his fucking guts already, but I hope she meets him. And I hope he takes damn good care of her.

If he doesn’t, he’s gonna have me to answer to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: smut! And basically nothing else.

When I saw the punch coming, my first thought was, _I should have known_.

Which is maybe a sign that I’m a little too used to this kind of thing.

Of course, the reason I wasn’t more scared wasn’t that I’m so used to being punched – you never get used to that – it was that I knew Tolliver would deal with it. And deal with it he did. I ducked, but I didn’t even need to; the would-be puncher was on the ground gasping for air before I could blink.

I’m not sure if his two friends would have continued the attack, or cut their losses and dragged their buddy away. Tolliver didn’t give them time to choose. Which I understood. We couldn’t afford to give them the opportunity. Tolliver’s tough, but he’s just one man. And me, well – if you need a corpse found, I’m your girl, but I knew I wasn’t real likely to win a fight against either of those two.

The second they were down, Tolliver grabbed my hand and half-led, half-dragged me to our car. By the time the first of the three attackers was staggering to his feet, we were already on our way out.

“You told them, didn’t you.”

Tolliver’s voice was absolutely flat. That, I knew, was a bad sign.

“They asked.”

It wasn’t like it was the first time that I’d been recognized in public. I even had a fan website dedicated to my work, which was every bit as creepy now as it had been when Manfred first brought it to my attention.

And it wasn’t the first time that I’d – reluctantly – confirmed my identity. Usually I lied, but sometimes it just didn’t seem worth the bother. Tolliver didn’t usually seem to mind either way.

Of course, the people I talked to weren’t usually massive, drunk bikers, and they didn’t usually follow us outside to start a fight.

“I’m angry,” he said, still sounding completely calm.

“Yeah, well, me too.” He shot me a surprised look.

To be honest, I was a little surprised at myself. He’d just saved us both, and I was going to get upset just because he was being a little cranky about it?

But… “I’m just being myself,” I said. “Why should I have to lie?”

“Is _staying alive_ suddenly not a good enough reason?”

I decided to stay quiet so that I wouldn't say something I’d regret. Tolliver did the same, and we drove in silence until we reached the small rental cabin we’d been staying in for the week, halfway between a client in West Virginia and another in Tennessee. The road behind us stayed dark and silent, the men from the bar having apparently decided, wisely, to put the whole thing behind them.

“You still mad?” he asked as we made our way to the door.

“A bit,” I said. I didn’t bother asking if he was still mad. The fury was coming off him in waves, so thick I could practically see it.

The second the door closed behind us, I dragged his head down to mine.

He must have had the same idea, because we met halfway. The next thing I knew, I was pressed against the wall, Tolliver’s lean body pressed into mine.

“You’re so controlling,” I gasped, as his mouth made its way down my neck, sucking hard enough to bruise.

“You’re so reckless,” he shot back, his hands sliding under my shirt. His clever fingers had my bra unsnapped in no time, and I moaned as his hands cupped my breasts.

My right hand slid to the back of his neck, and I pulled his lips back to mine. The kiss was aggressive, tongues battling for control, leaving me breathless. “I was just being honest,” I managed, then gasped as his hips rocked into mine.

“You could have been hurt,” he said. “Damn it, Harper, you’re _everything_ to me, and you risk your life just to be honest with some asshole who can’t begin to deserve – _oh_!“

His words faded into moans as I worked my hand into his jeans, caressing, tormenting. I allowed myself a brief moment of self-satisfaction.

And then he hoisted me up so that my legs were around his waist, and the friction was so good that I actually whimpered. I caught a quick glimpse of the self-satisfaction on his face before he started walking us toward the bedroom. I wrapped my arms around him and focused on not falling.

I couldn’t get him out of his clothes fast enough, and he seemed to feel the same way. In moments, we were falling into the bed, our bodies intertwining.

I’m not just stroking Tolliver’s ego when I tell him I like his dick. That curve thing he has going on does amazing things for me. Still, I tried to hold out, determined not to fall apart until I’d made him lose control, too. I scratched his back and heard his breath go ragged in my ear. He pulled my hair just hard enough to sting and I let out a noise I hadn’t realized I could make.

I fell over the edge pretty damn fast, in the end. But I was too far gone by then to care.

It took a few minutes to recover.

“That was… “ I managed, only to discover that my powers of description weren’t working just yet.

“Yeah,” Tolliver agreed. He was flopped on his back next to me, his fingers still wrapped in mine. “I don’t suppose you learned anything from this,” he added.

I hummed contentedly. “Sure did. Probably not the lesson you were going for, but – “

He rolled toward me, and gave me a lazy smile. “I’m happy to repeat myself as many times as necessary.”

I turned, too, bringing us face to face. “I’ll be more careful,” I said, looking in his eyes so he would know I meant it. He could joke about it now, but I knew he’d meant what he said before, too. And he wasn’t entirely wrong. I knew what it was like to have one person who was the center of my life, who was my everything. And now I knew that I was that to him, too. I had to take that responsibility seriously.

He smiled again, looking almost gentle in the moonlight. “Nah. You be you, baby. As long as I’m there to have your back. If that’s not worth fighting for, I don’t know what is.”

I smiled back, and squeezed his fingers.

In a minute I’d have to get up and shower, and put on pajamas, and check that we’d locked the door. I’d have to go to sleep, so that we could wake up early tomorrow for our job in Tennessee.

But before that, I gave myself one more minute to lie by Tolliver’s side, and just be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning - angst
> 
> Warning the second – cuts out before it gets into any real smut
> 
> Takes place just after book 4

The door closed quietly behind Tolliver, and I stopped pretending to be asleep.

It was the third night in a row that he’d done this. He always waited until he was sure I was asleep. He always came back smelling of night air, as if he’d just been outside for a cigarette.

But Tolliver wasn’t sneaking out to smoke.

I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and poked around for my sandals. I had a suspicion that I knew what he was doing out there. And it was past time for me to talk to him about it.

The floor of our second-story porch creaked under my weight as I made my way outside. That was OK. I wasn’t trying to sneak up on him.

He sat hunched over on the steps, his elbows on his knees, head bowed. I slowly sat down next to him, and he didn’t object, but he did tilt his head slightly away from me, hiding his face.

“If you want privacy, that’s OK,” I said into the silence. “But you don’t have to hide from me. You know that, right?”

Tolliver’s voice, when it came, was steadier than I’d expected. “You shouldn’t have to see it.”

I frowned. “Is this one of those crying-isn’t-manly things? Because Toll – “

“No,” he said, cutting me off. He glared at his hands. “This is one of those ‘you shouldn’t have to see me cry over the man who murdered your sister’ things.” His voice broke a little on the last words.

I sighed, and let my head fall onto his shoulder. He tensed up for a minute, then relaxed. “He was my brother too,” I said after a long moment. “At least, I thought he was.” But not like he had been Tolliver’s, I knew.

To be honest, my brain had barely touched the horror of Mark being the killer; I’d been so focused on Cameron. When I thought of Mark, all I felt was anger. Anger that the one of us whose life had been the most normal – ‘normal’ being a very relative thing, in our case, but still – was the one who’d done something so horrific.

I let myself think about it now, just a little. About the Mark we’d thought we knew, who’d been our ally in those first few awful months. Who’d saved us so many times back in that damn trailer, with the groceries he brought. Who’d been the one stable adult presence in our lives.

I felt myself tear up for half a second, before I angrily dragged my thoughts away. Tolliver was right, I didn’t want to cry over Mark.

“And I know it’s worse for you,” I said, continuing my earlier thought. Tolliver had grown up with Mark, and had gone to live with him after Cameron disappeared and our family was broken up. And now he was facing the realizing that Mark had been the one responsible for both of those things.

I’d known for years that I’d lost my sister. Tolliver was only realizing now that he’d lost a brother.

“If you want to visit him – “ I ventured, even though I hated the idea.

“I don’t,” he said, his tone final. I reached over and took his hand, and he laced his fingers through mine. 

There was another long moment of silence, but there was a feeling that we were building up to something. I could tell we were getting close to whatever it was Tolliver really wanted to say.

And I was right. “I’ll understand, you know. If you want to leave,” he said.

It took me a few seconds just to understand what he was suggesting. And then, if it weren’t for the pain in his voice, I would have been furious. As it was, it was hard not to roll my eyes at him. “You think I’m going to judge someone for what their family did?” I asked, a sharp note to my voice. “With parents like mine?”

He looked at me, then, his eyes red but dry. “Your mom was pretty bad, yeah,” he said. “But my brother murdered your sister.” He gave a strange half-laugh that was anything but amused. “And my father murdered your other sister. Or as good as.”

I sat silent for a moment, the usual mix of guilt, pain and confusion twisting in my stomach at the thought of baby Gracie. The original baby Gracie, before Tolliver’s father replaced her with the daughter of one of his druggie friends.

We still didn’t know for sure how she’d died, and probably never would. Maybe someday I’d find her bones, although I doubted I’d get anything clear off of them even if I did. The thought made me feel about a million years old.

In the meantime, there was the other Gracie to think of. The girl we’d spent the past eight years thinking of as our sister. She was alive and well, and we both loved her. It gave me a headache just thinking about it.

“She was your sister, too,” I whispered, but that wasn’t the point, and we both knew it.

He shook his head. “My family’s brought yours nothing but pain.” He let out a long, shaky breath. “I’m not saying it’s my fault. I’m saying, I understand if there are… associations, for you.”

I took a deep breath, arranging my thoughts. “You listen to me, Tolliver Lang,” I said, and his head whipped around at the steel in my voice. “Yeah, Matthew’s responsible for baby Gracie. And yeah, Mark killed Cameron.” I fought back the lump that tried to block my throat. “But you – you saved us. You know you did. You kept us fed when we were living in that trailer. When I was looking for Cameron, you were right there with me. And what we do now - I could never do this job without you, and you know it. You saved my life, in Sarne and in Doraville and I don’t even know where else.” My thoughts were getting jumbled, with the number of things I wanted to say to him. “I love you,” I told him, quieter. “And I need you. And I will always love you, and I will always need you, no matter what anyone else says or does.”

He was quiet. “Do you understand me?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, Harper,” he said, his voice rough. “I understand.” He let go of my hand, but only so that he could reach over and hug me. I reached out and hugged him back. The angle was a bit awkward, but we made it work.

“Don’t you ever tell me to leave,” I warned him. I was shaking a little. He pulled me closer, until my head was nestled under his chin.

“Never,” he said, and I both heard the promise and felt it rumble against my cheek, and I started to feel better.

We stayed like that for a while. Tolliver was the first to let go, his arms slowly relaxing around me. He attempted a smile as he smoothed the hair away from my face.

“Can we have sex now?” I asked, and he let out a short, surprised laugh.

“You’ve been wanting that, with me?” he asked. He sounded surprised, which was more than a little absurd, considering we’d been sleeping together for the past few months. Or had been until the latest revelations about our twisted family history. Since then Tolliver hadn't made a single move, unusual for him. I guess I understood, now, with what was going through his head.

“Sure,” I said, leaning back just enough to look him in the eyes. “Why not?”

I saw the answer in his expression, but he was smart enough not to say it aloud a second time. Instead, “Happy to oblige,” he murmured, and leaned in for a hard kiss that had me tingling from my head to my toes.

He tried to kiss me a second time, but I moved away, getting to my feet. “Bed first,” I said.

He managed half a smile. “Impatient,” he said.

I was impatient. I needed to feel his body against mine, surrounding me, loving me. I needed the reminder that as dark as the world got, there were still good moments. I needed the confirmation that he was with me; that whatever life threw at us, we’d face it together.

Plus, “It’s been nearly two weeks,” I said, a whining note in my voice, and he smiled again.

“Like I said,” he said, his hands sliding down my body in a way that almost made me groan aloud. “Happy to oblige.”


End file.
